Posts (page 2)

Over a million iPhones have been sold.  Have you: bought one, considered it, or decided it's not for you?

There are things I would do for an iphone that are illegal in almost every state.  I have played with one in an Apple store and if I wasn't in love with it before, I am now.  Of course I am an Apple Borg.  I think everyone should be assimilated.  The world would be a shiny happy place.  Steve Jobs could be king.  It would be brilliant!

Okay, first official post on this thing.  I am currently banging my head against my desk in an effort to be creative for someone else.  Always a dicey proposition for me.  I am making a book for my cousin that is about her father.  He is my great uncle and was in the Air Force in WWII.  Turns out he was a tail gunner for the 303rd Bomb Group, better known as the Hell's Angels.  Who knew?  I knew that he was a tail gunner, but I didn't know he was a Hell's Angel.  So, though some research I have found crew photos of 4 of the missions he was involved in, including the mission reports.  I am very proud of this find.  I hope he is alright with this.  He is proud of his service, which he should be, but he doesn't really talk about it.  I hope he doesn't see it a prying.  I have no clue about my cousin.  I am sure I must have met her at some time in my life, but I couldn't tell you when.  I hear about her alot.  For instance, she just got back from Egypt last month.  I was hoping she could get me a Egyptian version of the last Harry Potter book, but she wasn't able to.  She did get me this gorgeous little sarcophagus.  I have a thing for egyptian art.  I think on some level everyone does.  King tut is in the collective unconscious, don't you know. 

Cermamic Tut

My mother-in-law sent this to me and seeing as Halloween is my favorite holiday, I thought I would pass it on.

With Halloween upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE!! Please use these helpful hints this and every year.

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster,  NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out.

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: 

Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if your ecognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to he nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: 

chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.

HAVE A SAFE  AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

I have my own to add:

22. Always remember that a car is a weapon.  NEVER get out of one to open a gate when 

being chased by a monster, madman, serial killer etc., just ram the damn thing open.