{the big four oh}

I spell it out like that so it doesn't really look like the age that shall not be named.  I know I shouldn't be bothered.  It is nothing but a number.  I don't look the age that shall not be named.  I don't think I act that old either.  Although I am not exactly sure how you are supposed to act.  But I have it seems fallen in to a small pit of despair over it.  You know, here I am the age that shall not be named and what have I done?  And I know that where I am in life doesn't have anything to do with age.  I know that.  But it seems that bothers me anyway.  And I know I am going to be 41 and I can be right where I am or I can be where I want to be.  Of course that extends the thought that I know where I want to be.  I sort of do.  It is some nebulous place where I am doing something creative and I am happy and fulfilled.  Of course there again that leads you to believe that I know what it feels like to be fulfilled.  I am not sure I do.

Anyway

I turn the age that shall not be named on Saturday.

Happy birthday to me.